Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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