You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
