i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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