That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
