So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
