i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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