Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
