that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
