he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
