Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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