I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
