Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
