smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
