i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
