Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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