Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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