nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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