Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
did i walk over a car last night?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
