The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
