dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
