Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize