Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
