in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
As shirtless as possible
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
