we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
