fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have fence marks all over my body
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
