This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You are a genius and a whore.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
