Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
third nipple confirmed
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
