the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
