i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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