We won't sleep together?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
