Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
