the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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