At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
