you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
