After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
