I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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