i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize