did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
