Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a search helicopter?!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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