I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
