on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
