none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
