I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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