Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
