butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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