Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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