Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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