I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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