Do you still have your period?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
