I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
