you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
