To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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