He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
