it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Text me some of your sweat
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
