ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hippo gnu deer
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
