how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
