fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
