its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
