Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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