What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
