I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
