I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
