So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
