I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
