is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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